What about old journals?

Dear MamaJo,

I have a huge box FULL of old journals. I started journal-writing when I was 7. For MOST of my school years, I journaled almost daily. Some of those daily entries are pages and pages long. ALL my thoughts and feelings and experiences are logged in those notebooks.

I stopped journaling several years ago. I no longer felt the need. This doesn't bother me. I don't feel a loss.

I am tempted to get rid of my old journals. I know some of what I wrote in there and it was seriously embarrass me if anyone would ever read them. I am also ashamed of my attitudes in some of them.

I have considered their value in the future when my daughters might be going through stuff I went through, but at the same time, my girls are SO different from me. They are being taught differently than I was taught. They are more grounded in Scripture than I was. In many ways, they already seem far more mature than I ever was. Most of what I wrote in those journals I no longer agree with. Much of it is a bunch of hyper-emotional spew. I don't see how that could ever benefit anyone.

Is there some value in keeping them that I haven't considered?

I've thought of going through them all, reading everything, and only saving the pages that I like or feel have some significance or value. But I honestly don't think I could handle it. Digging up past feelings, failures, situations, etc. I just don't want to go through the emotion of it all.

I started to suggest trashing the whole lot, but then thought how I would feel if I found a box like that of things my mother had written. How wonderful that would be. Imagine getting to know your mother's thoughts from the time she was seven and seeing her progress into adulthood. I also totally get the feeling of embarrassment at seeing myself again at those ages.

So, here is what I would do. Go to the nearest Stuffmart and buy a Rubbermaid box. Without opening the journals, put them in order with the oldest ones on top as best you can. Put them in the back a closet. Somewhere where they will not assault you daily or weekly and the kids will never think to look. I would even write a letter to my children from time to time and tell them things that I would want them to know when I am no longer around. I would never mention the box to them.

What a blessing this will be to them when the time comes for them to sort through your stuff. It could even help them with thier grief of losing you. It can be one final act of being a terrific mom. As an added bonus, you will never have to look at those things again!